MY NAME IS JOHN CZERNEK AND LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I HAVE A STORY TO TELL. I WAS THE OLDEST OF THREE AND TO THIS DAY I THINK ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER, STANLEY WERE TWINS BUT WERE BORN TWO YEARS APART. I WAS BORN IN DOWNEY CALIFORNIA AND MOVED TO CHICAGO WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD. MY FATHER CALLED ME A CRY BABY, MY MOTHER CALLED ME SENSITIVE AND HER LITTLE JOHNNY ANGEL. MY FATHER IS AN ALCHOLIC AND MY MOTHER WAS VERY PROTECTIVE WHICH MADE LIFE VERY CONFUSING FOR THE MOST PART.

BY THE AGE OF 11 OR 12 I STARTED SMOKING WEED. MY DAD GREW IT AND CALLED IT TOMATOES. MY PARENTS NEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND MAYBE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS ALRIGHT TO DO. MY FATHER WORKED DURING THE DAY AND MY MOTHER WORKED GRAVEYARD. I LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN SO I COULD DRIVE US HOME FROM FAMILY GATHERINGS OR BARS BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS DRUNK AND MY MOTHER WAS AT WORK. BY THE TIME I WAS SEVENTEEN THINGS WERE LOOKING GREAT. I WAS WORKING TWO JOBS, GETTING GOOD GRADES IN SCHOOL, PLAYING HOCKEY AND PLANNING TO GO TO FRANCE WITH MY SENIOR FRENCH CLASS IN THE SUMMER. MIDWAY THROUGH MY SENIOR YEAR MY MOTHER DECIDED TO MOVE THE FAMILY BACK TO CALIFORNIA WHERE I WAS BORN. AND JUST LIKE THAT (BANG) EVERYTHING WAS GONE. I BEGGED AND PLEADED WITH MY MOTHER TO STAY BUT THE ANSWER WAS NO!

AFTER THAT I BARELY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, WENT TO COLLEGE, FELL IN LOVE, DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE, MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE (NOT TOO FAR AWAY FROM MOMMY SHE DEMANDED) MARRIED MY LOVE IN HAWAII, WORKED AT AN EQUIPTMENT DEALERSHIP FOR ELEVEN YEARS AND THEN STARTED MY OWN BUSINESS. HAD TWO KIDS AND BOUGHT A HOUSE, ALL THE WHILE SMOKING WEED. I MADE A LOT OF MONEY.

THEN ONE DAY I WOKE UP AND DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANY MORE. I WANTED TO SLEEP FOREVER. I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE UP AND WAS ANGRY EVERYTIME I DID. I SPENT THE NEXT YEAR SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. I LOST EVERYTHING AND DIDN'T EVEN CARE IF THERE WAS FOOD IN THE HOUSE FOR THE KIDS. SUICIDE WAS NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE MY BROTHER TOOK THAT WAY OUT WHEN HE WAS TWENTY SIX. I KNEW WHAT THE AFTERMATH DID TO THE FAMILY AND I COULDN'T PUT THEM THROUGH THAT AGAIN. I WAS SLEEPING 18-20 HOURS A DAY, WEIGHED 440 POUNDS AND COULDN'T STAND UP LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A SHOWER. I WAS REFERED BY THE EMERGENCY ROOM TO GO TO MENTAL HEALTH FACILITIES FOR TREATMENT. THE PLACES I WENT TO SAID I WASN'T SICK ENOUGH AND THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO FOR ME.

THE LAST PLACE ON THE LIST WAS RIO HONDO MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC WHERE I MET A CARING AND KIND PERSON (FRANK) WHO UNDERSTOOD AND WAS WILLING TO HELP ME AND MY FAMILY. THE JOURNEY FROM THAT DAY ON WAS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW LIFE. I TRIED A LOT OF DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS UNTIL I FOUND THE RIGHT ONES (I CALL THEM THE MAGIC JOHN PILL). AFTER A FEW YEARS AT RIO HONDO MENTAL HEALTH THEY STARTED A NEW CO-OCCURING DISORDERS PROGRAM. I MET THE TEAM (DYWANYE, JEFF, DEBBIE AND DR. PARIKH) AND I MADE THE COMMITMENT TO ATTEND THE PROGRAM THREE DAYS A WEEK. LITTLE DID I REALIZE BUT THESE PEOPLE SAVED MY LIFE AND GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE.

IT WAS AMAZING HOW WE (THE MEMBERS AND I) RELATED TO EACH OTHER. INSTEAD OF WORKING ON TRACTORS I FOUND MYSELF FOLDING ORAGAMI, DOING PUZZLES WITH DOREEN FOR HOURS ON END AND WRITING POETRY. THEY GAVE US A SAFE PLACE TO STAY FROM 8:00 IN THE MORNING UNTIL ABOUT 5:30 AT NIGHT. THEY TAUGHT US LIFE SKILLS, COPING SKILLS AND BASICLY HOW TO LIVE SOBER WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS. THEY ALSO LOOKED AT MY PHYSICAL HEALTH AND REFERED ME TO GET A PHYSICAL. OHH BOY I WAS SICK. MORBIDLY OBESE, DIABETES, HIGH CHOLESTEROL AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE. THERE CAME A TURNING POINT IN MY RECOVERY THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET. MY MOTHER USED TO TELL ME THAT THOSE PEOPLE OVER THERE ARE KEEPING YOU SICK SO THEY CAN MAKE MONEY OFF OF YOU. SHE SAID "I WANT TO TALK TO THEM AND TELL THEM WHAT I THINK". I SET UP THE MEETING WITH MY THERAPIST, THE DOCTOR, CASE MANAGER AND THE PEER ADVOCATE. THE DAY OF THE APPOINTMENT I WAS A WRECK. THEY MADE ME STAY IN THE MEETING. THEY EXPLAINED MY MOTHER EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME AND ANSWERED ALL OF HER QUESTIONS. MY MOTHER LOOKED AT ME AND THEN BACK AT THEM AND ASKED "SO IF WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS ELEVEN YEARS AGO MY SON STANLEY WOULD STILL BE ALIVE?" AND THEY SAID "YES". THAT WAS WHAT IT TOOK. MY MOTHER WAS NOW BEHIND ME 100%. SHE NOW UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH AND THAT I WAS GETTING BETTER.

I GRADUATED THE COD PROGRAM AT RIO HONDO MENTAL HEALTH. I WAS SENT TO A TRAINING THROUGH DMH AND RECEIVED A CERTIFICATE FOR A CO-OCCURING PEER ADVOCATE SPECIALIST. WITH THAT CERTIFICATE I WAS ABLE TO APPLY WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF MENTAL HEALTH. I DID MY INTERNSHIP AT LONG BEACH MENTAL HEALTH AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THEM. IT FELT LIKE I WORKED THERE FOR A LONG TIME AND FIT IN LIKE THE LAST PIECE OF A PUZZLE.

I WAS THE FIRST PEER ADVOCATE AT LONG BEACH MENTAL HEALTH. LITTLE BY LITTLE I FOUND MY PLACE AND WHERE I BELONGED AT THE CLINIC. I NOW RUN GROUPS AND CO-FACILITATE WHENEVER I AM NEEDED. I LISTEN TO CLIENTS AND DISCLOSE WHENEVER IS HELPFUL. I TAKE CLIENTS TO MEETINGS, GROUPS, CONFERENCES, SAAC AND CLIENT COALITION. I ASSIST CLIENTS IN OBTAINING BENEFITS AND DISABLED BUS PASSES. I SIT IN ON CASE PRESENTATIONS AND STAFF WELCOMES MY FEEDBACK ON COD ISSUES. THERE IS A SERINDIPITY EFFECT WHEN I COME TO WORK TO DO MY JOB WHICH HELPS ME AND THE RESULT SOMEHOW MOTIVATES THE CLIENTS TO WANT TO CHANGE THEMSELVES FOR THE BETTER.

THERE ARE A LOT OF CLIENTS HERE AT LONG BEACH MENTAL HEALTH AND ONLY ONE OF ME. I SEE SUCH A NEED FOR MORE PEER ADVOCATES TO BE EMPLOYED AT THIS CLINIC AND THROUGHOUT THE DEPARTMENT. I AM STILL IN RECOVERY AND WILL PROBABLY BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE AT A NEW LIFE. A LIFE FILLED WITH LOVE, COMPASSION, AND HONESTY, BEING SPIRITUAL, HOPEFUL AND HUMBLE. LIFE IS NOT WRAPPED WITH A BOW BUT IT IS STILL A GIFT. CHERISH IT!

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